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Submitted on
December 2, 2012
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3.8 MB
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2592×3872
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1,441 (3 today)
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Camera Data

Make
NIKON CORPORATION
Model
NIKON D3000
Shutter Speed
1/160 second
Aperture
F/4.8
Focal Length
32 mm
ISO Speed
800
Date Taken
Nov 13, 2012, 10:27:39 PM
Software
Adobe Photoshop CS5 Macintosh
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Agonizing Loneliness by Russian-Standard Agonizing Loneliness by Russian-Standard
Illustration Assignment. 2012.
"Monster in Me"

I'm not afraid to say when I get lonely, my mind sinks into the abyss. It doesn't matter how happy I am, or how great my day is. It's just the fact that I've never really had friendly people approach me. I was never used to it. Because when I was younger, the loneliness that I had was nothing compared to the loneliness I feel now at times. It's intense now. With the urge to need someone at times, the urge to have someone to hold when there really isn't anyone to turn to because I think it'll become really awkward or they're too late when they want to help. So I choose to stay alone to myself until I find a way to vent, or it subsides again. I know it's not a good thing to keep emotions bottled up. I try to go out as much as possible, and it's hard for me, especially when I'm so far from home and all my close friends are 550 miles away. I only have one close friend, closest, that's here at college with me, but her alone can't handle all the pressure and frustration I emit at times like these. So I choose to hide away whenever I feel lonely- not only because I don't want it to be a recurring burden, but I know it can get really, REALLY bad if someone tries to interfere and I don't want interference. Because I know I've hurt people, due to that. And I regret it.

I also have anger-management problems.
And not to mention I hold BAD grudges.


I'm generally a very dislikeable person, but when I'm around people that make me happy, they really do make me happy and they will keep my mind astray from these dark things.

I'm also not ashamed to share personal things. There's nothing to hide.

Art(c)Me
DO.NOT.USE.
DO.NOT.COPY.
DO.NOT.REDISTRIBUTE.
DO.NOT.STEAL.
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:icongaluss:
GaluSs Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
That's a deep comment over there. And I can see those feelings expressed in this picture, it's a really nice work. The face and mouth are pretty intense and the hands very expressive, all the shapes/guts/darkstuff coming out and swirling look also good in the composition.
Reply
:iconrussian-standard:
Russian-Standard Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Omg.. Thank you so much. v u v I'm all warm and fuzzy now. etasjkglsdjhajf It's an honor coming from you! ; o ;
Reply
:icongaluss:
GaluSs Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
You're very welcome kasjdaksjdna aaaww you~
goshyougottabekiddingme,anhonor? kajsndkajndka I'm... I'm so flattered don't know what to say D:
Reply
:icon1074arius:
1074Arius Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Heather Beams! My biceps weep for you! Square metal plated tears of MANLY-NESS! Do not be sad beams!!
Reply
:iconrussian-standard:
Russian-Standard Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student General Artist
MATT BEAMS

I have nothing to day because your comment is pretty much epic

BEAMS
Reply
:iconmenn2:
menn2 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
Do not worry homedawgh! I cannot say that we all have your intense feelings as much or the same as you, but we can certainly understand. Hey, DA is here to help. Any art site to vent your anger is here to help. just know that although you hide form the world, the wrold is STILL HERE FOR YOU ALWAYS!
Reply
:iconmaddmouse:
maddmouse Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
* A *
*Can't tell if upset, scared or awed* <3
Reply
:iconaberiddia:
aberiddia Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Well I hope you're feeling better uvu I'm always here for digital hugs.
Reply
:iconkona-ann:
Kona-Ann Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
AH! so scary and creepy, but so cool!
i love it- very creative and grotesque :heart:
Reply
:icongoatmeal:
goatmeal Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
i.....i WANT TO cUddLE IT....
Shhhhhh, it's okay. I'm here.
I gotchu'
Reply
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